timho's Library



Login to follow
This user gave Ultimate Demise stars and wrote this review:

The rebel planet of Xayfus is under attack by Imperial Star Destroyer Victor’s Wrath, and a small rebel detachment has been sent to assist them. The rebels are due to be completely annihilated. Fett finds himself caught in between the battle – will his presence change the outcome? Read, and find out!

McMahon has put action at every turn, making this story a real page-turner. With good detail and a fast-moving plot, this story is one you should seriously consider taking a look at.

Though this piece of writing is still fairly good, it isn’t exactly McMahon’s best. It seems that old errors are coming back to life in this fan fiction – errors that I have mentioned before. Therefore, I will repeat myself (sigh) and so this paragraph is really only for the writer, but you are welcome to poke your head in if you wish. There are all sorts of errors in Ultimate Demise, including spelling, punctuation, sentence, and grammatical errors. By getting someone to proofread your story, you can easily exterminate these mistakes. Also, in the story, Fett already has his bounty. I would have liked to see more of Fett’s bounty hunting and less of the space battle between the Rebels and Imperials.

This fan fiction is not up to McMahon’s usual standards, but it makes a fairly good read. Here is a brief excerpt from Ultimate Demise:

Boba Fett took a different path to his rival. The Slave I went over the top of the star destroyer and circled the massive ship’s circumference and headed straight for the Articulate Raid.

Fett saw the surprised look on the pilot’s face as the ships charged towards each other. Boba Fett sent a ripple of ion blasts at the other ship as their individual paths linked into one. It was a test of wills and Fett had no intention of turning…


If McMahon considers everything I say, her writing would be much better. This fan fiction is an average job, one that has earned its right to be read. So what are you waiting for? Read it!
This user gave Prelude to the Future stars and wrote this review:

On the tiny moon of a solitary planet, a figure stands alone. Hunting. On this planet, he is Death. He has skillfully killed every creature that lives on the planet, and he will move on – to become Boba Fett…

McMahon ceases to amaze me – in another dazzling display of ability and skill, she has blown us all away. Again. It seems like she has taken my previous advice into consideration, and this has improved her writing considerably. The plot development, atmospheric detail and tremendous characterization in this story is one that made me want to keep reading. This is once again a must read, and has easily pushed its way onto the Recommended Reading list.

There is really not much that she can improve on, other than a few spelling and grammatical errors. Remember, don’t confuse its (possessive) and it’s (it is) together. These are all minor problems that can be solved if you ask someone to proof-read your story. All you writers out there, when I comment on spelling and grammatical errors in your story, it REALLY is nothing to worry about. Even professional writers have errors in their novels.

McMahon has placed all the action in the right places, and here is a sample of what you can expect in Melinda McMahon’s second addition to the Fan Fiction secton, Prelude to the Future.

The hunter backed away, his chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. It was time to test out that armour he had purchased. He strode down to the cargo hold and opened a sealed crate. Inside was the ancient armour of the Mandalores. The black T-shaped visor was coated with packing dust. He brushed the excess away and looked into the gaze that had terrified a previous generation.

He dragged the crate to his quarters and pulled out a fresh flight suit. Round two would be to his advantage.

Outside droves of aliens waited. Some tried to breach the hull, but their attention was diverted to the outer hatch that opened revealing an armour clad being. “Time to play."


McMahon has the makings of a professional writer, and she should publish some of her stories, definitely. Please write more of your stories – I, as well as all the readers, I’m sure, really enjoy your work. Congratulations on a stellar job! People, read Prelude to the Future, right now!
This user gave Night in Sarlacc's stars and wrote this review:

The Sarlaac Bar: a tough, smoky bar to visit - yet, the mere presence, of yours truly, Boba Fett, will keep everyone in line. People do not mess with Fett - see what happens when they do.

Another very brief story, a trademark of Ms. Goon's, yet packed with much more potential than Pat shows the reader, leaving a lot of speculation for the reader to do. Which is good for the reader who likes to think, and consider what would happen outside the words of the story, but not that great for the type of reader who likes a solid piece of writing that brings an immediate image into their minds.

Like Pat's other piece, very sketchy atmospheric description and build up, very choppy and predictable plot development, yet Pat incorporates a few clever lines into the story, leaving the reader thinking, and in the end, smiling. I like how Pat writes this story differently, displaying action, yet in a very subtle way. There is no dialogue whatsoever, and even in the climax of this story, it leaves the reader in a very relaxed mood.

Though Pat writes very little, every word counts. Read these stories carefully, there may be more than meets the eye. So if you're looking for an action flick, this isn't exactly the one to pick. However, this is a good story to pick if you're looking for a light read.
This user gave Money is of No Consequence stars and wrote this review:

Boba Fett has set off on another breath-taking hunt, this time after a dangerous assassin named Jargarb Boonta. Fett lures him by using his girlfriend as bait... has Boba Fett made a mistake by invoking the wrath of this killer? You know, some things are worth much more than money...

An excellent piece of writing by Melinda, once again. She has described things in extensive detail, and creates an excellent exposition, atmosphere, and even has good use of metaphor - all these support the fact that McMahon has the makings of an elite writer. The plot is very well built, with firm support for each respective event.

On the down side, there are a few errors in Boba Fett's characterization. Do you really think that he would kill innocent civilians? Well, he wouldn't - Boba Fett isn't a ruthless killer, he is a symbol of justice. Also, though there is a excellent plot, I would have enjoyed it more had it been stretched out a few pages more. Another problem with the plot is that she has limited rising action, but almost just jumps recklessly to the climax... How do I solve this, you ask? Read more novels,. or send them to someone experienced that can edit your stories well.

On the whole, this is a very readable piece of work, has very little, if any, spelling errors, and deserves two thumbs up. Great for those who are looking for a light read. Read it, there's a catchy ending - this is the only story I have seen that has a moral so far... Bravo!
This user gave Kast Aside stars and wrote this review:

McMahon is up to her usual level of excellence, in a great short story that any Kast fan will love. Starting from a catchy title to give the reader a little chuckle, she dives deep into the mysterious story of Jodo Kast.

Jodo Kast’s application for the elite Imperial Stormtroopers has been rejected, to his outrage – a quick grudge is made between Kast and the Empire, which leads to him finding out about the Mandalorian Warriors, and most importantly, Boba Fett. This leads to his plotting for his revenge against the Empire… The reader is plunged into an action flooded, information rich story in which they read about the mysterious Jodo Kast, from his creation, to his end.

Mel does an excellent job with the portrayal of Jodo Kast, which is difficult, since there is not much information concerning Kast’s personality. McMahon has successfully created a personality for Kast that is certainly an adequate match for his character.

I find the storyline suffers a little dip in action near the conclusion of the story, and that the ending could have used a bit more spice. After all, the ending, is one of the most important sections of a short story. First impressions are important, last impressions are more important.

Nevertheless, this is an excellent short story, go read it now!
This user gave in a grubby little tavern on a grubby little world stars and wrote this review:

A quick little story in which locals in a "grubby little tavern" discuss Boba Fett's latest bounty, and make a few bad jokes.

This one page blowout has no atmosphere whatsoever, and Goon really isn't going anywhere with his storyline. Poor characterization on Fett's role, though he only has one line. However, his Star Wars information is mostly accurate, and mostly good, in-depth material. On the whole, a good effort by Goon, yet he should stress to focus on those points given above on his next composition.

Here's a little sample of "in a grubby little tavern on a grubby little world", by Pat Goon.

"Hear about his last bounty? He got the Janiston twins."

"Apparently the twins have been sleeping in cycles for three years. Or so they say. Makes good gossip, I suppose. But they've chalked up their own body-count in that time, bloody deadly things. I hear it's 25 bounty-hunters they've got."


So, if you're looking for action, suspense, or drama, this is not the story to read. Looking for a little chuckle? This is the one for you.
This user gave Genesis and Genocide stars and wrote this review:

The Empire has created the ultimate weapon – not another Death Star, but something almost just as deadly - a humanoid genetically-altered sentient named “Janine”. However, it has gotten loose, and the creator has hired Boba Fett to capture it. Are Fett’s skills good enough to take on this elite weapon? Read Genesis and Genocide, and find out…

McMahon has composed a decidedly professional short story, one chock full of the great stuff we expect from all our fan fiction writers. With great plot development, as well as great characterization – especially of Boba Fett – this story easily climbs its way up onto the Recommended Reading list. McMahon proves to have a very creative mind, as well as extensive knowledge of the Star Wars universe, referring to many obscure alien species such as the Weequay.

To spice up the story, McMahon should have another person proof-read her story. There are a few punctuation and spelling errors, all minor but nevertheless apparent. Just to let you writers know, if you can’t find anyone to proofread your story, I’d be more than happy to proofread them. Also, in Genesis and Genocide, I would appreciate more atmospheric description. Taking time to describe surroundings and scenery is always well taken.

To grab a taste of this splendidly exciting novel, read this brief excerpt from Melinda McMahon’s Genesis and Genocide.

“How much will it cost me to have you fight my creation?”
Boba Fett was not pleased at the idea, “At least a million.” Fett thought that would be a little too rich for the Emperor, especially when his project creation was in jeopardy.

“Done, a million credits you shall have if you succeed.” the Emperor smirked. Boba Fett was about to speak but the Emperor answered his silent question, “If you lose, you will die…”


Rounding it all up, a great effort by McMahon, and not a great effort put to waste – Genesis and Genocide is an admirable piece of writing, one that you should all read immediately.
This user gave Fett's Equal stars and wrote this review:

Fett’s Equal takes place after The Empire Strikes Back, when Fett has just captured the carbonite-frozen Han Solo. Shortly after, Fett invokes the Imperial’s wrath by disobeying an order form the Dark Lord himself, which leads to a confrontation with the Imperial Royal Guards, and the temporary alliance with the ultimate wannabe, Jodo Kast.

Andy Wirzburger is a very mature writer, and uses his extensive vocabulary well. The plot in Fett’s Equal is well planned, and exciting, while his character development is also something to praise. Andy describes each scene with great depth, creating a very good overall atmosphere. Wirzburger also describes some of the Star Wars technology in stunning detail; he has succeeded in putting the flavor of Star Wars into his story – you can almost here the movie soundtrack… this is a must read.

In my point of view, Andy’s story could be optimized if he concentrated more on realistic personalities. I can imagine Fett saying and doing many of the things he does in this story, but some of the dialogue in this fanfic is questionable. For example, I doubt if Fett would actually say, “What the heck”, or if Fett would actually bother to keep Jodo Kast alive.

Also, Andy has done a remarkable job with his plot, but it would be better if he had a focal point on his plot: for example, in this story, Boba Fett has teamed up with Jodo Kast for no particular reason. It could be better, in my perspective, if they teamed up for a cause, such as a particular bounty, etc.

Still not going to read the story? Well, maybe this excerpt will convince you to go read it RIGHT NOW.

Boba Fett backed slowly down the alley, all the while preparing for the first Royal Guard to strike. He knew he’d be in trouble with the Empire, but not this much. He only hoped all they wanted to do was chat.

Abruptly he banged into something or someone with his shoulder, and he spun bringing his blaster up to bare on the figure behind him. What he found was a mirror image of himself. The other had also raised a blaster, and both now had their guns to each other’s helmets.

“Boba Fett,” the other figure said, identifying correctly. Fett also knew who the other was. “Jodo Kast.”

On the whole, Wirzburger has concocted a magnificent fanfic – Andy, you have a very bright future in writing if you keep writing more stories like this one! Just one more thing, Andy – be careful with this title Boba Fett has no equals.
This user gave Dreams Drowned stars and wrote this review:

Years have passed after Return of the Jedi. Boba Fett has been rescued from the Great Pit of Carkoon by one named Ara Lars, and they have invoked the wrath of the evil Luke Skywalker, drawn to the Dark Side. Evil, indeed...the mighty Chewbacca has had his tongue severed by him...anger...fear...aggression... Those are the attributes now possessed by Skywalker, just like his father before him. And he is coming. For them.

Hmm...interesting story, to say the least... It is fairly well written, in a Past/Present format, and has a...creative plot. I am finding it difficult to review such a different story. It has very little action in it, however, it leaves the reader biting their fingernails on every page. Very little spelling errors, fewer grammatical errors. Very different from other stories, yet dedicated readers should add this story to their list.

Not many comments for the negative side, other than how crazy the plot is - I don't think any of this would happen! I would have liked to see more action in this story...this is almost a dull read - this would have made an excellent prologue, however, to a longer story (hint hint).

Well...for once, I can't find much to say...well, it's your decision whether to read it or not. For some reason, the pictures painted in my head by this story are usually in black and white. An excellent piece of writing, but I would have liked to see better content. So.

Read it...

...or leave it.
This user gave Cyan's Song stars and wrote this review:

The stunningly attractive Cyan Starling is Jabba’s prized bounty hunter. However, little does she know that Jabba has replaced her with the best bounty hunter in the galaxy – Boba Fett. Now, she finds herself in a tight spot. If she does not capture the next bounty Jabba has sent her after, she will be forced to become one of Jabba’s slave girls. Jabba sends Fett to accompany her on this bounty, and now Fett finds himself watching over a hunter that has skills almost equal to his – also, he is struggling to hold down a new emotion – love.

Cyan’s Song has many qualities of a well-written story – excellent atmospheric description, and fairly good characterization. Amos’ use of description in Cyan’s Song is marvelous – she has concentrated on painting a mouth-watering picture of the lovely Cyan in our minds, and has succeeded. She has also used the interesting method of inserting songs in periodically; songs that relate to what has happened to that point in the story – very creative.

Tasha Amos mentions that this is only Part I of the story – Part II will be looked forward to. However, there are some things to look out for. It seems that Cyan’s Song has very little punctuation, especially the use of commas. Also, Amos tends to repeat herself from time to time – solving both of these errors are easy – have someone proofread your story. Amos has the potential of a very good writer – however, a writer must find a balance. Amos has put way too much romance in this novel, and does not concentrate enough on adding the flavor of Star Wars into the story – whether it be space battles, or blaster fights. Finding a balance between action and romance is critical in a story not meant to be in the category of romance. However, I do understand that there is a Part II, and perhaps the climax and action of the fan fiction takes place there.

Here is a brief excerpt from Tasha Amos’ Cyan’s Song to give you a taste.

"You must be tired." Cyan’s speech got softer and more soothing until it was almost a purr. "Very, very tired, so tired you can barely stay awake. Don’t try." she watched Fett intently. His helmeted head was beginning to nod sleepily and his breathing was so faint that if she hadn’t been listening for it, she wouldn’t have noticed it subtly becoming deeper and more relaxed, the breathing of someone in a very deep trance. "Sleep Boba Fett, sleep deeply hearing only the sound of my voice. You hear only my voice and you will obey."

"I will..obey." Fett’s voice through the Mandalorian helmet’s speakers was as harsh and emotionless as ever, but seemed to be murmured, as if he were talking in his sleep, a sure sign that he was completely under her spell. Cyan didn’t take any pride in her victory though, if anything she became more grim. "You will tell me what I want to know Fett." she said firmly "What is Jabba paying you to do? What has he told you that he hasn’t told me?" The other hunter didn’t respond and her tone became more urgent, almost desperate "Tell me Fett, what you are doing here."

"I’ve got a better idea." Fett’s voice was strong, alert, and completely in control, without a trace of drowsy obedience, the last thing a would-be hypnotist wanted to hear. "You will tell me what you think You’re doing."

Cyan’s eyes widened for the briefest of moments, than she regained her composure. "It appears that I have underestimated you Fett." she said smoothly "Very few sentients have the will to resist Lorelei mesmerism. I’m impressed."

"I’m flattered," Fett said dryly and aimed his rifle directly at her head.


Tasha should consider publishing some romantic novels, as that seems to be what she enjoys writing about – and what she is extremely talented at. This is a very good story on the whole, and Tasha, we’ll be waiting for the sequel! Ok people, read this story soon…

Reviewer’s note: This fan fiction contains mature content that may not be suitable for minors.
This user gave Bounty on the Jedi stars and wrote this review:

Luke and his friends have gone to the planet of Nithia to find a good location for the construction of a New Republic base. However, on this seemingly simple journey, they meet a mysterious hooded Jedi that leads them to a lost Jedi city. This leads to an encounter with Boba Fett…are Fett’s skills enough to match a Jedi’s?

An action-filled story with incredible description, Nye has composed an exciting addition to the Fan Club’s Fan Fiction section. Nye paints a crisp picture in the reader’s mind, and leads them off on a satisfying adventure through many locations. With a fast-paced plot, and very well described atmosphere, you must consider reading “Bounty on the Jedi”. Nye has certainy earned it…

However, there are some things that could use some brushing up. Some of your sentences are excruciatingly long. To fix this, avoid using conjunctions such as “and” more than once in a sentence. Also, the plot was fast-paced too fast paced. After you read this story, you will know what I mean… build up your plot slowly, equalizing the amount of action with other content. What do I mean by building up a plot? Like building a series of houses, every “house” (action) must have a base.

Also avoid referring to characters suddenly at first, the author gives the impression that only Luke and Mara Jade are onboard a ship, then when it lands, Han, Leia, C3PO, R2 are there. Like I said with the plot, build a base before going to anything else.

Regardless of these minor errors, “Bounty on the Jedi” was a fairly good read.
This user gave The Bounty Hunter and the Assassin (Or How Boba Fett Met Sonja) stars and wrote this review:

Boba Fett has been hired for the live capture of Sonja, a full fledged warrior that had once worked for Price Xizor. Little does he know, their paths will cross more than once…

Anna does a brilliant job on this story, with a pretty good storyline, and sturdy plot development. She has made an effort to incorporate excellent descriptions throughout the piece, and great characterization on the large cast of characters involved. There is no real climax in the story - the story ends on an unfinished, and in my opinion, hastily written ending. If she had extended her story, to finish up all of what she had started, it would have made a much better composition. Here is a small excerpt of Anna Aran's "The Bounty Hunter and the Assassin".

It had been a quite day, and everything was going smoothly. No bounty hunters were chasing him, even with that high bounty on his head, and Sonja would take care of all the bounty hunters that did come along. Rackmoss looked up at the sound of the door opening and he saw a dark figure dressed in old beaten up Mandalorian battle armor. Then everything went black.

Anna, it's not too late to finish your story. I look forward to seeing another submission to conclude this well-composed fan fiction.
This user gave Man Behind the Mask stars and wrote this review:

A long, time ago, on a planet called Concord Dawn, a Journeyman protector named Jaster Mereel was exiled for the murder of a corrupt fellow Journeyman. He sought out a new job, and trained hard to become a stormtrooper for the Empire – however, the Mandalorians are recruiting members – and a certain stormtrooper wants to try out. His skills bring him through the recruiting process…Jaster Mereel has died. Boba Fett has been born.

In The Man Behind the Mask, Dively has found an excellent balance between action and detail. With incredible accuracy for most of Boba Fett’s past, we discover how Fett got his name and his armor. This novel provides an exciting yet interesting read that will make you want to read more of his writing.

Even though it is fairly good, there are a few things that can use a bit of help: Dively should strive to stay in the same tense, and make new paragraphs when a new character is speaking. Also, he should try to use more variation in his verbs – he constantly uses the two words “thought” and “replied”. It gets boring after a while if you keep repeating the same words. Stretching out the plot a bit farther and not having everything happen too quickly would also improve the story. Last, but not least, when a character is speaking, he shouldn’t use quotations, but use italics, (not available on fan fiction).

Otherwise, The Man Behind the Mask makes a light read for the afternoon. Dively should consider my points, and then he’ll be on his way to the Recommended Reading list in no time!
This user gave The Boba Fett Tavern stars and wrote this review:

McMahon strikes back! This is truly a masterful piece of literature by McMahon, and it has earned the first perfect score on a story in my time working for BFFC. This is a fun story in which the reader almost interacts with the story itself - you are in the point of view of a traveler visiting "The Boba Fett Tavern". The bartender will tell you a little story about Boba Fett.

Though this story has little action in it, you'll read it non-stop. No doubt. Superb plot structure, I loved the reader/story interaction part. Great characterization on Fett's part, though there was only one possible flaw in his personality - however, I can't openly say it, as it will give away an amazing story. Anyways, though it is fine that you don't use dialogue quotations in your text, it just may confuse some people when first reading it. Anyhow, not using quotation marks gives it more of a…story-telling quality, which is what this story is. I won't include an excerpt of the story in my review, every word in that story counts, and I don't want to ruin the fun.

I'll stop rambling now, you're in for an irresistible read.
This user gave P.O.V. stars and wrote this review:

A short paragraph written in Fett's perspective, displaying his thoughts on his bounties. Not really a story, you could say it's just giving the reader a clearer view on Boba Fett's thinking. Is his thinking really how Cramer displays it as? Perhaps. It is debatable - personally, I think Cramer is displaying Fett as a person who has no inner justice. One line in the paragraph says:

"I am emotionless, and care not for the beings I slaughter."


Is that true? Maybe - yet it's not that Fett doesn't care, it's just once a bounty has been placed on a person, Fett no longer sees him as a person. Just a bounty. Merchandise. However, Amy, do not mistake Fett for a cold-blooded killer. Fett is a clear representation of Justice.

Also, this piece of literature has lots of repetition in it. Amy says something once, then repeats it again, and again, and again, with different words. All you writers out there, don't try to extend a piece by putting trash in it. Length does not matter. Amy has made some excellent points in this story concerning Boba Fett's character, but get straight to those points.

Anyhow, Amy has composed a short, but sweet, and compulsively readable piece of literature. Take a look!
This user gave The Black Spirit stars and wrote this review:

Boba Fett has always been unquestionably the number one bounty hunter in the business. When he is hired by Jabba the Hutt to catch a thief named Turaak Stul, his reputation might change… little does Fett know that his intended bounty has already been stolen by another bounty hunter, one that has skills equal of Boba Fett’s…

Katie Pugh proves her skill in writing once again as she writes The Black Spirit. This fan fiction is a great read – every scene is described until a crystal clear picture has been imprinted into your mind, and Pugh creates a magnificent atmosphere wherever Boba Fett goes. She has mastered the characterization of Boba Fett, perfectly creating that dangerous, mysterious masked man we see in the movies. She has built her plot masterfully, with twists and turns in her events that make this fan fiction one that you have to read – one thing that adds to the plot is her magnificent understanding of the Star Wars technology, characters, and universe. I especially like the climax in the story, placed in the perfect spot, but you will have to read to find out more…

There are only a few things that Pugh should consider changing if she composes another Star Wars book – which I hope she will – and one of these things is to have someone edit the story. In fact, there are little or no spelling errors in The Black Spirit, but I do notice some sentences that do not make much sense. Once again, I cannot stress how important it is to have someone else edit your story! Also, I noticed a minor problem with Jabba’s personality. It is well done, but I can’t imagine him saying things like “I was so frightened”. Change these few things, and you’ll be a professional writer in no time.

Here is a taste of what you can expect in Katie Pugh’s The Black Spirit.

Jabba grew suddenly serious. And why should I do that? Perhaps this new bounty hunter could be better then you, Fett? Maybe I just might use him as my primary hunter and not you? Maybe I shall...

The doors swung from underneath them and Teaa tried to grasp the grate, but to no avail. They both plummeted roughly to the sandy ground of the pit. Look around, she noticed Fett had landed a few feet away. Shockingly, he had landed on his pack, crushing the main gauge. It had cushioned his fall, but now they had no way to get out of the pit!

There was a low growling sound from a dark shadow in the earthen chamber. Suddenly, the kell dragon came out, slowly advancing toward the two.


Katie, I encourage you to write more of your excellent stories, and I’m sure that they’ll get right onto to Recommended Reading list with no trouble. Alright, go read it.
This user gave Betrayal stars and wrote this review:

The best of the best has once again been hired for the capture of a merchant by the name of Horden Jerrock. This is a seemingly straightforward task, however it quickly turns into a mad chase for Jerrock, a chase that entwines itself with many hazardous and explosive events, events that even prove challenging for the mighty Boba Fett.

Betrayal, by John Devanney, moves at a speed-of-light pace that we recognize from George Lucas' trilogy, however, the incredible detail and plot development in this fan fiction has gone way past what is possible in a 2 hour film. Devanney's vast knowledge of the Star Wars universe, combined with his considerably well-versed writing skills, has created an action-packed thriller that exceeds what is expected from a fan fiction writer. Devanney paints a picture as clear as water in our minds with his masterful description. I especially enjoy how there are several climatic peaks in the story, as opposed to many other fan fictions, where there is only one real climax.

There are a few things that can be considered in order to perfect this fan fiction. First of all, the starting line in the story can be optimized – the first line of any story is critical, it gives readers an overall impression of what the rest of the story will be like. In this particular story, the number one line (spelling edited) says:

Boba Fett looked at his chronometer for the fifth time.


This is not a very effective starting line - never start a story with someone looking at a watch, typing on a computer, sipping stim tea, or anything that makes the reader want to throw up in boredom. Always try to make your first line of your story, or, in fact, the first portion of your story, as exciting as possible. It is a good idea to start a story (BF fan fiction) with Boba Fett in a blaster fight, for example, or something with action in it. Also, ending your story is also critical. Devanney ends his story admirably - read, and learn. Ending lines should always be conclusive - someone dying, for example, or maybe someone flying away into the depths of space never EVER end your story with: "It was all a dream!" I will seriously give zero to anyone with that ending.

Another thing Devanney should look out for, or ALL writers should look out for, are spelling errors, grammatical errors, or any other sort of error. This fan fiction, as well as many others, is plagued with errors that could all have been prevented by having someone edit your story. Devanney should look out especially for missing commas, words that don't exist, awkward wording, missing words, and incorrect use of punctuation. On the same note, in case you do not know how to correctly use semicolons and apostrophes, read the next paragraph carefully.

A semicolon is used as a period, and a comma (hence the semicolon sign with a period and comma). Instead of inserting a period into a sentence, you are technically putting in a special comma that serves as a period. Therefore, you can start a new sentence that has relation to the topic of the paragraph it is in. Confusing.

Also, some authors seem to be confused with the two terms its and it's. While its is used as a possessive article, it's is used as the short form of "it is." Don't confuse these two together!

Here is a taste of what you can expect in John Devanney's Betrayal.

The planet he had just left was a lifeless rock with a barely breathable atmosphere and could be found on no standard astronomical chart. A perfect hiding place for pirates. Apparently the pirates had invited the merchant to close some kind of deal, what it entailed he didn't know, but as long the pirates didn't detect him then it didn't matter. He was now within torpedo range and merchant still was unaware of his presence. The magnetic distortions must be playing havoc with his sensors. In one smoothe movement Fett brought up his targeting scope and locked his mag pulse onto the other ship's engines. A chime pinged as the HUD went red and the pulse spat itself from his craft tailing a blue stream of energy. The beam hit its target square on and the ship went into a roll. Within seconds Fett was within cannon range, and let loose with a blast from his concealed Ion cannon. With his target now floating dead in space the Slave 2 moved up beside the battered old freighter and engaged it's tractor beam. With a hiss of air from the landing hatch the two ships docked. Time to get his merchandise.

As Boba made his way towards his quarry's ship he off-handedly wondered why someone with such a high bounty on their head would take the risk of contacting pira... . He never had time to finish the thought. hHs helmet's enhanced sensors detected the unmistakable odor of Nergon 14, an explosive used in the creation of proton torpedoes. In seconds he was back aboard his the Slave 2 and disengaging himself from the doomed ship. The Slave 2 had barely broken off contact when the freighter disintigreted into fire, and a massive explosion rocked Fett's ship.


An excellent fan fiction by Devanney, and I would not mind seeing more of these great stories from him. Well, everybody read, and enjoy!
This user gave Agamemnon stars and wrote this review:

40 million credits. That is the rather large bounty offered to Boba Fett by Glaxxol Corporation Central Executive Officer Demetri Lell, to capture the infamous Force-attuned crime lord "Agamemnon". Fett finds himself testing his skills against the power of the Force…

R. K. Blanton stuns us all with this magnificent fan fiction – this tale is perfectly written, with a well-characterized Boba Fett, who does not speak much, but has the skill and cunning of the bounty hunter we know so well. Blanton has a well-used atmospheric description, as well as good characterization and proves to be a mature writer. One thing in his stories that I liked, and that I do not see much in other fan fictions, are the large amounts of text he dedicates to painting a crisp, clear picture in our minds of the scene he is writing about.

Many amateur writers tend to have a lot of dialogue, and a very fast-paced plot, while Blanton has found a median between description and dialogue. Agamemnon has a very skillfully constructed plot:, one that develops well – Blanton does not mind letting it grow to its full potential of roughly 7 pages.

A thing to look out for, not necessarily just in Agamemnon, but it almost every story, are errors. Having another person edit your story and using your Spell Check program are usually two good solutions to the common mistake. Also, it would be better to be more realistic – in this particular story, for example, Boba Fett is paid 40 million credits (!!!). For some reason, this triggers an alarm in my mind. This is highly unlikely - Boba Fett’s highest paid hunt, I think, was 5 million credits. This bounty (40 mil) is not necessarily incorrect, it’s just I don’t think it would actually happen in the Star Wars universe. Also, to make a great read like this more appealing to readers, writers should strive to think of more catchy titles…

This was an enjoyable read, and I insist you read it. If you don’t think my petty urges for you to read this are enough, read this brief excerpt from R. K. Blanton's Agamemnon.

The crimelord was wearing blood-black armor, with a black cape. A mask of gold seemed to burn with evil intensity on Agamemnon's face. The mask hid all facial expression, but managed to exude hatred at the same time.

Fett had no Force ability, but one did not need the Force to sense anger.

Suddenly, a power unlike anything Fett had ever encountered ripped him from the very spot where he stood. It picked him up, physically, and threw him back into the hard ground. Fett felt his body crumble, and then felt the first wave of pain.

On the whole, it was a very admirable job by Mr. Blanton, and I urge all you Star Wars fans to read it. He should seriously consider becoming a professional writer, though the plot would have to be more complicated, of course. This is one of the best fan fictions I have read so far – his style is comparable to Timothy Zahn’s. Write more fan fictions, Mr. Blanton – they certainly will be welcome additions to The Boba Fett Fan Club's Fan Fiction section…

Well, what are you waiting for? Go read it!
This user gave Part 1 stars and wrote this review:

Target: Ramirez, a man who has angered an eccentric nobleman/collector that little is known about. Bounty: 75 000 credits for his capture. Everything seems like a normal routine "hate bounty", until Fett later finds out the truth about his mission and his employer...

Routine is more the key word for this story, it is quite bland for the most part, and lacks a climax. The author has stretched atmosphere a bit too far, to the point that it is rather dull. Also, there is ineffective use of dialogue, meaning his dialogue does not grasp the reader's attention.

However, there is a high level of informative content in this story, he describes everything to the point of perfect clarity, and this story is definitely rich in Star Wars terminology and whatnot. Mr. Atkins, make sure you try to address those points to make Part II of this series the best it can be!

Looking forward to your next submission. Take a look, this is good for a fairly light read.
This user gave Lone Operator stars and wrote this review:

"It had been twelve days since Slave I had touched down on the backwater planet of Anhorchin and thirteen days since Boba Fett had received the message that Cora Hinric was dying. Cora had been known as one of the Imperial's worst thorns in their side. Cora was an extremely talented slicer who had accessed some of the hardest files to be found on the Empire..."


This completely paranoid slicer is so cautious, even Fett wasn't sure of the slicer's gender. He is nevertheless relentless as usual, and catches Cora red-handed... Have a glance at this story to find out more, it has a catchy ending.

It is needless to say dialogue, atmosphere, and characterization are well done as usual, though there is a bit of a weird part in one of the last paragraphs that is a bit laughable. An average story compared to McMahon's other stories.
This user gave Child of Revenge stars and wrote this review:

Vader has requested Fett to collect yet another bounty for him. One woman. 60,000 credits. Fett soon finds out it is not the woman that Vader is looking for. It is what the woman carries inside her...a Jedi baby.

Ala Green is a natural storyteller. A ripping read - an amazing storyline, written with exceptional skill. A very, very clever ending. This is a must for all you fan fiction fans, I'll keep this short - just go read it!!

As for you, Ala, I hope to see you submit more stories in the future!
This user gave Backwater stars and wrote this review:

After a violent skirmish with pirates in the outermost regions of the galaxy, Fett finds himself, and the Slave I in critical condition - he finds himself crash landed on a planet he, or even the Imperials, know nothing about. He will not live long without help. Will our infamous bounty hunter find a way to keep himself alive, while the pirates are already searching for his crashed ship to finish him off? Losing conciousness is not a good start for Fett.

Fairly well done fanfic by Luana, who writes a very well structured story, with the beginning, body, climax, and end clearly laid out. The dialogue is very effective, compensating for a story that might lack a little in flow. It is a bit choppy at times, but nevertheless, characterization and atmosphere are above average - this story reveals an almost compassionate side of Fett.

Full marks for an unpretentious, face paced short story that many of you might find to be an interesting read.
This user gave Memories of Kamino stars and wrote this review:

Long after the events of Episode II: Attack of the Clones, Fett returns to the rainy planet of Kamino where memories long past still linger. And haunt him.

This is a short little piece that you might find interesting to read as a little epilogue to the movie. However, it's done in such a way that it would not serve as a spoiler if you haven't seen the movie yet - so take a look.
This user gave Against A Myth stars and wrote this review:

Boba Fett has been hired again, this time not to capture any normal bounty. He has been hired to capture a myth, a legend. The Madagan Razorbeak, a mere child's story, was sighted, and Regional Praetor Novex wants this as the ultimate gift for the Emperor.

Boba Fett, a bit hesitant for this particular bounty, eventually accepts, and this story immediately plunges into the placid atmosphere of a jungle, where a legend, will go face to face with a legend...

Very strong atmospheric description and moderate storyline buildup by A.C. Jayne, and the author also incorporates some information from another fan fiction (Cyan's Song) into this story. Very interesting, I've never seen that done before. However, this move definately deserves some creativity and respect points. She puts a fairly accurate personality with Fett, but it probably could still use a few touch ups.

A.C. Jayne definately could have worked a bit on maybe cutting down on some of the descriptions, or at least compressing them. Description is definately a critical part of every Fan Fiction, but too much is a turn off for most readers.

On the whole, a fairly well done story that deserves a look, with a very ironic ending. Here's what you can expect from A.C. Jayne's "Against a Myth":

he reeds at the far end of the small clearing slowly parted and the razorbeak silently moved from myth to reality. It walked on all fours but the angle of the back and the difference in length between the hind limbs and the fore limbs told the hunter that the beast could probably walk on its hind legs with ease when it wanted to. The hind paws were large and clawed but the fore limbs ended in large curved talons which were obviously part of the creature's skeletal structure as it rested a large portion of its weight on them. Fett figured they could probably cut a man in half if swung with enough force and he had no doubt the beast could accomplish this.

Fett still could not get a definite visual lock on the creature as it continued to shimmer so he fired a small spread of the darts at it that all should have connected. Only one apparently found its mark, however, as the razorbeak shuddered and momentarily came back into focus. A loud roar came out of the beast's maw in reaction and it suddenly leapt straight up at its attacker winding up one of its taloned forelimbs for the killing blow.


Good stuff, A.C. - Keep it up.