1 (edited by Ralin Drakus Thursday, March 27, 2008 12:11 pm)

Topic: Ralin's Creations

I'm much more a writer then a painter, so most if not everything I add to this thread will be writting creations that are too small to have their own thread.  Hope you enjoy

For my first creation here, I have his alternate scene to offer.  No offense, but I’m tired of the cheesy alternate scenes that I’ve seen posted.  Let’s put some time into making alternate scenes that are not only possible, but also something we’d actually WANT to see *ie no Palps dancing in G-string etc.*!

Here’s my contribution to said alternate scenes


Ep. VI Alternate Scene


The carbonite begins to melt away from Han Solo.  He flexes his fingers slightly, he moves his lips gently, and then falls to the ground.  A gloved hand grabs his shoulder and helps him to sit up. 

“Relax.  You’re free of the Carbonite” a helmet altered voice says to him from the darkness.  A voice Han recognized…

“Fett?!”

“That’s right” said the blurry green figure before his eyes.  “Your friends wasted a lot of time looking for you.  They finally got smart and offered me more then Jabba was paying me to hang around this place.”

“I can’t see.”

“You have hibernation sickness.  Your sight will return in time….. perhaps.”

“Where’s Leia and the others?”

“No more time for questions.  Get up.”  Boba pulled Solo to his wabbly feet with one hand. 

“Oh ho ho ho ho.  Ah ha ha ha” boomed a menacing laugh though the chamber. 

Solo’s face turned nearly as green as Boba's armor.  “I know that laugh…”

Two sets of curtains flashed open, revealing Jabba’s goons behind and Jabba himself in front of them. 

“So, the mighty Boba Fett betrays me.”

“No betrayal, Jabba; it’s nothing personal.  But either way, I’m taking Captain Solo out of here.  It would be wise of you NOT to try and stop me.”

“No one steals from me and lives.  You should have remained loyal Fett.  Now both you AND Solo will DIE!”

Before Jabba’s goons could move in, however, Boba held up his hand.  “Wait.  You don’t think I’m stupid enough thaw out Solo without a backup plan, do you?  I’m giving you all one last chance, stand aside.”

"And why should I let you go?"

"Because of this..." said Fett as his left hand moved from around his back and revealed the Thermal Detonator in his grasp, sending most of Jabba's enforcers running for cover.

"HA" Jabba bellowed.  "You MAY be stupid enough to try to take my property out of here from under my very nose, but NOBODY'S stupid enough to use one of those in an enclosed room like this.  You're bluffing.......and a pathetic bluff at that.  You don’t scare anybody any more, Fett.  TAKE HI….”

Jabba’s words were cut off with a mighty throw from Fett, who sent the detonator flying into Jabba's gapping mouth. 

Jabba tried not to swallow, but the *Gulp* sound betrayed him.  His eye's widened as Boba raised his hand to his wrist gauntlet.  "Bye Jabba" said Fett with no more emotion then if he was about to step on a Tatooine dust-ant.  Pressing a button on the gauntlet, Jabba imploded.

“Any body else think I’m not scary?”

The formerly employed goons stood in awed silence, staring at their slumped over master, smoke still rising from his head.  One grabbed for his blaster, and was leveled by Fett.  Several others then went for their weapons, forcing Fett to opt for Plan C. 

“DUCK!” he yelled for Solo as he forced the other man’s head down.  Pressing the button on his gauntlet, several explosives he’s hidden around Jabba’s throne room exploded, ripping into the surrounding goons.  Nearly all went down from the explosives, and a few remaining thugs ran or were taken down by Boba’s deadly fire.

Walking out of the palace, Han looked at the shadowy figure walking next to him.  “Thanks, Fett.  I guess we’re even.”

“Think that if you wish” he said without turning.  “But like I said to Jabba, its nothing personal, before or now….”

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

Well that certainly erases Boba's Sarlacc Death, yay! wink

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Re: Ralin's Creations

BFFC-Mel wrote:

Well that certainly erases Boba's Sarlacc Death, yay! wink

And this alone makes my idea better then Lucas's scene    big_smile

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

4 (edited by Lord Revan Wednesday, March 26, 2008 11:11 am)

Re: Ralin's Creations

Wow RD, that WAS better than Lucas' scene. I wish they had put something like that in the movie.  wink:D

"This IS my signature."

Re: Ralin's Creations

nice work but boba would never betray Jabba he was his employer since his fathers death ( read the fett scholastic books)

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Re: Ralin's Creations

It was really good.  But Hutt skin is basically impervious to blaster fire.  As per Boba Fett: Death, Lies, and Treachery.  I don't think a headshot would kill him.

[i]Like I told your captain, the orphange attacked me.  It was self-defense.[/i]  -Richard the Warlock  [url]http://archive.lfgcomic.com/lfg0002.gif[/url]

Re: Ralin's Creations

Nice work Ralin big_smile  I really liked it, would have been fun to see this version in film, good job vod big_smile

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Re: Ralin's Creations

Fantastic. I know who should hire you so he doesn't ruin his plots anymore.

Meat is murder...... tasty tasty murder.
"Suggestion: Electrocution works well. Evisceration and Decapitation are also effective, or um, so I've heard."

Re: Ralin's Creations

Can you take the place of Keran Travis?

...I live by one rule and it is this: Freedom. Enslave no one and be no ones slave. No more no less. I am a hunter and no one rules me.  - Alo Fett

Re: Ralin's Creations

I don't like it. I think that the portrayal of Fett is a little off. There was a comic where he was offered more to swap sides. He didn't. I don't think it would fit his code. Sorry. Other then that, its good.

P.S. OOOOOOO BURNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(At the person SI was referring to)

[i]The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed[/i]
[url=http://lfgcomic.com/page/1]Interrogations are hard...[/url]

Re: Ralin's Creations

I like the idea, but wouldn't a wrist rocket penetrate the Hutt skull more effectively?  (and create really cool pyrotechnics...which was alredy accomplished with the explosives around the room...)

It is a better idea than....someone else's...:P  You should join Lucasarts.

(Although I agree that it would be difficult for one to get him to swap sides; he has a strict code of honour)

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Re: Ralin's Creations

Alo Fett wrote:

Can you take the place of Keran Travis?

Would be fine with me    big_smile   

About Boba Honor Code, I don't think it would be tarnished be turning on a Hutt, especially since he wouldn't be defaulting on a hunt contract, but cutting his ties with a.........not even sure WHAT he was still doing still at Jabba's Palace. 

That stuff about Hutt hide being blaster proof sounds like BS to me, but if it's canon I could edit that.

Thanks for the kind words, I'll have to crank out some more alternates like this   big_smile   I do have a FanFic in mind that's similar to AoS.  Might preview it here.

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

Great story..............Me wants more! ( hopefully )

You've been holding out on us again haven't you? Since you haven't given us enough money, I'll guess I'll have to take it out of you piece by piece! - Unknown Mandalorian.

Re: Ralin's Creations

Well it looks like I exaggerated it a bit.  It's not basically impervious.  Wookieepedia says that it can take several hits before vital organs, as they have such a big layer of fat. It just came across as impervious as it was taking hits and hits in the Boba Fett comic.  Methinks.

[i]Like I told your captain, the orphange attacked me.  It was self-defense.[/i]  -Richard the Warlock  [url]http://archive.lfgcomic.com/lfg0002.gif[/url]

Re: Ralin's Creations

Sev Fett wrote:

Well it looks like I exaggerated it a bit.  It's not basically impervious.  Wookieepedia says that it can take several hits before vital organs, as they have such a big layer of fat. It just came across as impervious as it was taking hits and hits in the Boba Fett comic.  Methinks.

Yeah, I do recall something about Hutt's being pretty hard to kill with blaster fire *probably from the Solo books,* but I wasn't sure if was canon or not.  I guess it is.  I shall edit then


Mandalorian Assassin wrote:

but wouldn't a wrist rocket penetrate the Hutt skull more effectively?

Do Hutt's even have skulls/bones?  I never checked, but they look like invertebrates to me; perhapes being held together only by cartalage, muscle, or in a Hutt's case maybe just fat   tongue

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

well.................Jabba looks like a slug, and slugs don't have bones. But a jelly substance material fracture instead - cartilage. tongue

You've been holding out on us again haven't you? Since you haven't given us enough money, I'll guess I'll have to take it out of you piece by piece! - Unknown Mandalorian.

Re: Ralin's Creations

Arent Hutts mostly muscle and fat...highly regenerative cellular structure...like their Reptillian anscestry?

I think im right...

Anyway great job, vod...

"Kom'rk tsad droten troch nyn ures adenn, Dha Werda Verda a'den tratu."
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Re: Ralin's Creations

Thanks all.  I'm trying to think of other such scenes that could use some buffing up.  Might have a Jango scene or two that I might try to alter, will have to re-watch and see what I want to change.

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

I dunno, *some people* don't like Jango for no apparent reason. Oh well, Let's see what you got.

"This IS my signature."

20 (edited by Ralin Drakus Thursday, April 3, 2008 5:53 pm)

Re: Ralin's Creations

I'll try Jango next I think.  I do want to change the Jango vs Obiwan fight

For this one, I thought about this while posting on the 'If you made StarWars' thread.  Here's my version of the Sarlacc fight; hope you enjoy!

*BTW, this scene is not related in any way to the last alternate I posted.*

Alternate Scene for Ep. VI: The Battle Over the Sarlacc


“The great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas” concludes C3PO’s translation of Jabba’s offer.

R2 races out of Jabba’s chamber in the sail-barge headed toward the top-side deck; and is seen by Boba Fett.

“3PO!”  Yells the still partially blind Han Solo.  “You tell that slimy piece of worm ridden…..FILTH; he’ll get no such pleasure from US!   Right?”

“Jabba, this is your last chance.  Free us, or die” Luke defiantly shoots back.

“Move him into position” orders Jabba

Luke walks onto the ramp, then looks over his shoulder to exchange a look with Lando.  After a moment, he then looks up and gives a salute to R2, who is positioning himself to launch Luke’s lightsaber.

Jabba triggers his megaphone again.  “Put him in!”

As the guard moves forward, Luke drops from the ramp, grabs the end, and flips himself over the guard.  Raising his hand to the sky for his lightsaber………and he realizes it’s nowhere to be seen.  Looking to R2 on the sail-barge, Boba Fett has his hand covering the compartment R2 was hiding the weapon.  With a Force push, Luke knocks the guard he’s jumped over into the Sarlacc.  Turning quickly, he uses the Force to pull a blaster from one of the remaining guards and shoots two of them while Lando fights with the last guard. 

Standing next to R2, Boba watches the fight unfold as he still holds his hand over R2’s secret compartment.  The droid defiantly uses it’s shocker arm and zaps Fett in the leg, with no affect. 

“That’s enough from you” says Boba as he pulls out a driod stunner and zaps R2.  The droid seizes up and lands with a thud on the deck, a little smoke coming from it.  Boba levels his gauntlet at the Rebel’s skiff and fires a wrist rocket.  It hits near Lando and the guard he’s fighting with, blowing him and the guard over the side of the skiff.  The guard is eaten by the Sarlacc, while Lando grabs a loose line and is stranded there hanging over the edge. 

Chewie and Luke knock the rest of the guards over the edge, and then Luke jumps to the second skiff, blaster firing.  With a Force Wave, he blows all the guards from the skiff and into the Sarlacc.

A gunner on the barge begins firing on Solo’s hover skiff, knocking out one of it’s repulsers and tipping it over.  Han is nearly launched into the Sarlacc, but his feet get tangled in a line, while Lando slips dangerously close to the Sarlacc’s maw. 

Seeing that Han’s skiff is in danger of being blown from the air, Luke lunges over to the sail-barge, grabbing a closed window plate.  Pulling himself up, he quickly reaches the top.  With a well aimed blaster shot, he kills the gunner. 

Suddenly, from behind one of the sail masts, Boba Fett appears with his EE-3 blaster leveled and fires directly at Luke’s face.  In a Force assisted reflex, Luke covers his face with his artificial hand and blocks the bolt.  This move and the impact of the bolt, however, blasts his blaster form his grip and knocks him down.  As he tries to get back to his feet, the butt of Boba’s blaster cracks down on his head.  Boba’s boot them comes down on the back of him neck, pinning Luke to the barge’s deck. 

“Your Force saved you that time, boy.  But nothing will protect you now” Fett’s gravelly voice said coldly as the muzzle of his blaster met Luke’s temple. 

Quietly from behind, Leia crept up behind Boba with a vibro-axe she’d taken from a fallen guard.  As she reached striking distance, Boba whirled around, letting go of his blaster and letting it hang from it’s sling, and knocked the axe from Leia’s grip with one hand and shoved his other hand under her chin and gripped her throat. 

“Not smart…….Princess” Fett hissed. 

As Fett turned to counter Leia, Luke had been laying on the deck, staring right at R2, who was also still laying flat on the deck.  Reaching out with his damaged hand toward R2, the damaged driod spat the lightsaber towards it’s master. 

Fett shoved Leia down, but before he could turn, he heard the distinctive sound of a lightsaber come to life.  Luke swung the green blade and caught a piece of Boba’s jetpack before the bounty hunter could turn.  The rupture in the pack’s fuel tank rocketed Fett up and toward the edge of the Barge.  Hitting the edge of the Barge’s sail, he was sent crashing down and into the waiting Sarlacc. 

Helping Leia and R2 up, Luke covered her as she leapt onto the barge’s main cannon and blasted the craft.  The party then saved C3PO from Jabba’s monkeylizard and made good their escape……

After the Scene Where Luke and His Friends Fly Away

The Sarlacc’s pit can be seen as Jabba’s sail-barge smolders in the background; the camera is slowly moving towards the pit. 

Suddenly, a string of explosions erupt, and the Sarlacc roars in pain. 

As the camera finally reaches the edge of the pit, Boba Fett’s glove grips the sand directly in front of the camera.  Slowly clawing his way out of the pit, his T-visor flashes in front of the camera before it switches to the Death Star scene…..       


*Note*

I’m sorry for the quality of writing on this one, I was in a hurry making it and it’s more of a rough draft right now.  That, and it’s more designed to project the image then to make a well worded draft.  I’ll probably try to improve it later when I have the time.  Hope you enjoy anyway

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

it was pretty good. You kept it true to the movie, with Lando and han still hanging, but made it a little tougher for Luke. Like his vision on Dagobah that if Mara had been there, he would have failed. and showing Fett at the end was nice.

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yff3jH8NECs]"Touch my Awesome Button."[/url]
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Re: Ralin's Creations

This is my version of the duel Jango and Obi-Wan have on the Kaminoan landing pad.  Hope you enjoy, and feedback is always appreciated


Alternate Scene for Ep. II --- Jango vs. Obi-Wan

“DAD!  LOOK!” Boba shouted from the loading ramp of Slave I.

Turning quickly from the crate he was about to load, Jango Fett locked onto the Jedi.  “Boba, get on board!” he yelled as he slowly got to his feet.

The Jedi had his lightsaber in hand, but had not yet ignited it.  “Jango Fett!” yelled the Master Jedi over the falling rain and occasional crack of thunder.  “In the name of the Republic, you are ordered to come before the Jedi Council and submit to questioning!”

Stepping away from the crate, Jango held his hands low just over the grips of his WESTAR blasters.  “I submitted myself to the Jedi once before.  It will NEVER happen again!”  In a flash, Jango’s blasters were drawn and leveled on the Jedi, red energy bolts blazing from the barrels. 

Obi-Wan’s Jedi reflexes didn’t fail him, and he rolled forward, dodging the first bolts.  As he came to his feet, his blue saber sprang to life and began blocking the incoming bolts as he charged.

Jango paced his shots, careful not to send too many just yet as the gauged the Jedi and his abilities.  As the Jedi neared, Jango launched himself into the air with his jet-pack and flew backwards, firing his blasters as he went.  Turning away from the Jedi, he flew to one of the platform’s spires and grabbed onto is, using his enhanced strength and the low-gravity magnetic settings in his suit to hold onto the protruding object’s side.  Getting into position, Jango launched his pack-mounted High-Explosive rocket.

Shielding himself in the Force, Obi-Wan was launched backward by the blast.  Landing hard on the stainless surface of the Kaminoan landing platform, he quickly rolled as a barrage of blaster fire cut across the pad’s surface. 

Landing between the Jedi and Slave I, Jango leveled his blasters and fired at the disoriented Jedi. 

Desperately blocking bolts, Obi-Wan uses the Force to launch the crate Jango had been about to load at it’s owner. 

Caught off guard, Jango is only partially able to deflect the object and is knocked from his feet and lands with an armored THUD.  Trying to get back to his feet, the Jedi tackles him, knocking the Mandalorian’s blasters from his hands.  A gauntlet to the face of the Jedi knocks him off, and both leap to their feet.

Rushing in, Obi-Wan’s attacks are quick and hard.  He catches the Mandalorian armored warrior with the heel of his thrusting right hand directly on the T-visor and then a hard jag in the stomach with his left. 

As the Jedi stepped in to strike under opponent’s right arm, however, Jango moved into the attack and caught Obi-Wan’s arm under his own, locking it in place.  Face to face with the enemy, Jango struck the Jedi hard with an armored head-butt.  As the Jedi backed away stunned, Jango raised his arm defensively, a jagged blade extending along his left gauntlet.  “I lied when I said it’s always a pleasure to meet a Jedi…….the pleasure is in the GOODBYE” said Jango as he attacked. 

As the Mando moved in, Obi-Wan dodged the attackers swings, then summoned his fallen lightsaber with the Force.  As the blue blade sprang to life, Obi-Wan lunged it just over Jango’s head, ready to bring it down at the slightest motion.  “Not goodbye yet Jango, you’re coming with…..”  Obi-Wan’s words were cut off by a blaster shot.

Standing on the loading ramp of Slave I, Boba had his most recent birthday gift clutched in his hands: a new, unmodified EE-3 blaster carbine.

Only Obi-Wan’s Force Sense allowed him to deflect the shot with his lightsaber, but this moved opened him to attack from Jango. 

With a thrash from his gauntlet blades, Jango ripped a wound into Obi-Wan’s left arm, sending the Jedi reeling.  Retrieving his blasters, father and son opened fire on the Jedi.  Against their combined fire, Obi-Wan used every bit of his concentration to deflect and dodge the blaster rounds, and didn’t notice the ledge he was approaching….

Backing into the low rail, Obi-Wan fell backward and plunged below.

Racing up to the edge, Jando looked down and could seen nothing but the angry sea below.  Holstering his blasters, he walked back to Boba.  Placing a loving hand on his son’s shoulder, the stepped aboard Slave I and prepared to take off.

Hearing the starship’s engines, Obi-Wan reached up from the lip under the platform he’s been hanging from and pulled himself up.  Reaching into his robe, he pulled a magnetic tracking device and hurled it at the departing craft.  Craddling his arm in pain, the headed back to his ship to begin the pursuit…..


So that’s my idea for it.  Any thoughts?

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

23 (edited by Ralin Drakus Saturday, April 26, 2008 10:57 am)

Re: Ralin's Creations

Thanks Darlin'

I was looking at that scene in the novelized version of Ep. II written by R.A. Salvatore after I did mine.  His *I think he's a he* is probably better; his lightsaber and jedi talk are better then mine, though not something beond my learning; I havn't really writen for Jedi/Sith in the past at all. 

I was surprised to see he took some creative liberty with the scene to; it's a lot better then the movie version.  I thought he was just adding behind the scenes bits; but he changed some of the filmed scenes to.

I still think mine's comparable to his though.  He has more written for the fight scene, but to be honest I had a hard time following him.  Some of the move's he was describing were good, but others sounded twisted or imposable; like he was just throwing words in there.  Maybe I'm just slow and couldn't visualize it.

Anybody else read it?  If so, how does mine compare?

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

24 (edited by Ralin Drakus Thursday, June 19, 2008 9:23 pm)

Re: Ralin's Creations

Here's a little something I came up with.  As it's a poem, I'll also post it in Si's thread.  Hope you enjoy!


Into the Light – A Mandalorian’s Fate

Into the light,
Under my proud Father’s eyes,
From my loving Mother’s womb,
I pass into the light of life

Into the light,
Of childhood’s first trials,
Out of my Mother’s care and into my Father’s protection,
Past are my toys and carefree existence,
New is my blaster and fresh is my first kill,
Down the path of manhood I begin

Into the light,
Of my armor’s heavy embrace,
My brothers cheer and my sergeants salute as the title Mandalorian becomes mine,
Clad in armor forged of ore from Mandalore’s heart,
The newest Mandalorian am I

Into the light,
Of the strange thing that is love,
My heart burns, yet it pains me not,
Never have I felt what I feel for her,
My soul flies high, yet I stand beside her
Into the warmth of love I enter

Into the light,
Of my first battle’s furry,
Many souls does my Basilisk claim as I descend into the glory that is war,
My Father’s lessons are clear and my aim is true,
Into the light of victory I march

Into the light,
Of failure’s stark chill,
Our wounded scream and my fallen brothers are mourned,
The battle is lost, and my soul is cold,
My first defeat is bitter indeed

Into the light,
Of war’s familiar pitch,
My battles are many, as are my scars, but I am still alive,
The blood of thousands is on my hands, and worlds fear my approach,
A Mandalorian Crusader am I

Into the light,
Of my body’s final breaths,
My strength is gone, and my eyes grow dim,
The grip of my son is firm, his gloved hand in mine,
A tear in his eye, he whispers to me,

Pass now, into the light my Father,
Your battles are many, and your Honor is great,
March now to the place far away,
And wait for me at Glory’s gate

"You set a code to live by.  I won't be wronged, I won't be insulted...I won't be laid a hand on.  I don't do these things to other men, and I require the same from them."

Re: Ralin's Creations

*applause*

((Need I say anything?))

"This IS my signature."