Darkness and light, lighting through dark clouds, rain splattering on her visor. The sound of screams and the shouts of victory. It was a blur yet it was familiar. Joslyn tried to remember. "Get your heads down, incoming fire!"
Joslyn twitched, for some reason she couldn't move. She couldn't duck. She stood as she saw the bright burning missle heading their way. She watched in horror as it seemed to lock onto her position. She felt the second it hit her body. Her chest throbbed with the pain. She blinked open her eyes. Her hand grasped something, no someone else's hand.
Joslyn blinked and saw Solus beside her. But then the darkness returned and she was back in the battle. She didn't understand what was going on. She just knew she had to keep going.
The battleground disappeared to a different dark memory. Everything seemed large to Joslyn, her eyes looked around the room. She saw the huge grandfather clock that had been her mothers and knew what was about to unfold. She could already hear the shouting their words were unclear, but then Joslyn was a five year old playing with her toys, not paying attention.
She lifted her head as she heard the thud of something heavy hitting the wall. She picked up one of her blocks and stood up. "Mummy?" she called as she walked to the closed door. The button to activate it was too high for her to reach but Joslyn had recently learned that if she dragged over the foot-seat she could reach the button.
Dropping the block Joslyn found the foot-seat and dragged it across the floor to the door. Her small hands pressed upon the wall as she pushed the button. The shouting was louder. She saw that her father had a red mark on his cheek and that her mother was screaming something at him. Joslyn didn't like the screaming, "Mummy?" she said again.
Joslyn's dark haired mother turned to look at her. Her mother's eyes softened as she walked over to pick her up. She turned back to her father, "That's it. It's over. I'm not coming back this time."
Her father looked crestfallen. "Daddy?" Joslyn said as she looked at her father.
His eyes roamed over her face then turned dark and angry as he looked at Joslyn's mother. "This won't be the last of it, Wonda."
Joslyn watched as her father stormed out, she reached for him. "Daddy come back!"
Her mother held her tightly, "We don't need him baby. It'll be just us girls."
"No mother, it'll just be me." Joslyn said, as she was suddenly an adolescent. Her mother lay dead at her feet, killed by a random mugger. She felt detached from the memory. She wouldn't look at her mother's body. Not this time.
The sound of blaster fire came and the scene changed with it. She was back on Naboo this time she was fighting Jag again. Her anger thrown fully at him. For some reason he reminded her of her father and that made her furious. How dare he leave. How dare he think she was inadequate. But then she reminded herself that Jag was not her father.
Her temper cooled and they were sitting, him bandaging her hand when he said the off-handed remark about Solus.
Solus, he was sitting beside her. Holding her hand. She wasn't alone, but why did he stay? She was damaged; her emotions shredded so many times that the scars had become a thick wall. She hadn't let anyone get close to her in a long time. Humour was her weapon of defence. Everyone assumed that the clown was happy, that she had no inner demons. That's what Joslyn had projected to the others. Yet Fynn had seen through her, had Solus also seen the truth?
She let out a deep breath, her lips parting, her mouth a little dry. She felt battered and fragile. She hated weakness, especially in herself. She felt inadequate. She stretched and felt a gloved hand tighten around her own hand.
Then she heard him, Solus was talking to her. At first she couldn't understand what he was saying but his voice was soothing.
"-so then I wondered what to do next. But you came in blasters blazing and got me out of that mess. Man you made an impression on me. The fierce warrior woman who came to my rescue," he chuckled, "the others would think me a sap."
Joslyn wanted to answer but she was so drained. She squeezed his hand gently; it was all she could manage. She felt him cup her hand with both of his. "Can you hear me, Joslyn?"
She attempted to squeeze his hand again but it was too much effort.
Solus continued talking, "You know once you're back to your old self I'm going to take you out some place really nice. I've been meaning to do it for a long time but could never tell if you were well," he hesitated, "if you were interested, in me that is." There was a long silence afterward.
Joslyn wished she could answer him but her strength was fading. Sleep was calling her and she was unable to stop it from claiming her once again.
Joslyn's mind was searching, she was sifting through the memories of Solus. Things he'd said and things he'd done. The more she thought about it the more obvious it became that Solus had been looking out for her for a long time. Whenever she had been pinned down Solus had insisted that they get her out, be it with a team or on her own.
Whenever she was injured he'd always appear and see how she was doing. Whenever she wanted to sit alone he would often join her. She cringed at the times that she'd practically bitten his head off because she had wanted to be alone. Perhaps that's why he'd given her a wider berth when they were in a group. Or perhaps he didn't want to suffer the constant ribbing from the others when they found out that Solus had an eye on the only female in the group.
Joslyn smiled to herself. She went to squeeze Solus' hand but it was no longer in hers. She felt an instant panic and her eyes fluttered open. The machine beside her was making flurried bleeps in time with her erratic heartbeat. She looked around to see that she was in a hospital of sorts. Solus was sitting in a chair beside her bed, his helmeted head drooped forward, his hand dropped beside her.
"Asleep," Joslyn croaked as she calmed. The machine beside her quietening.
**Just thought I'd add a bit more **
It was like thousands of voices cried out for a sequel and were suddenly silenced...