Topic: the "funniest joke in the world"

Supposedly the funniest joke ever told

"A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'OK, now what?'"

and the second place winner

"Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip. After a good dinner and a bottle of wine, they retire for the night, and go to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes wakes up and nudges his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions and millions of stars, Holmes" replies Watson.
"And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson ponders for a minute.
"Well, astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful, and that we are a small and insignificant part of the universe. What does it tell you, Holmes?"
Holmes is silent for a moment. 'Watson, you idiot!' he says. 'Someone has stolen our tent' "

Is this believable? I think the second one is hilarious, better than the first anyway.

I'll abdicate at the drop of a hat
(BFFC Moderator)

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

wasn't that first one used in Kotor exept it was mandalorians.

1rst gear*click*..ok.2nd gear*click* 3rd gear*click* 4rth gear *click* 5th gear *click*..rabbit speed*click*VRRRR* Wow to fast !!

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

I'm not sure.

I'll abdicate at the drop of a hat
(BFFC Moderator)

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

I love the second one.

Estuans interius ira vehementi SEPHIROTH!
BFFC Moderator

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

I've heard the first one so many times... But it's still funny. smile The only difference was that the guys were "rednecks".

Second joke's great too.

"Whoever is a highly evolved, super-genius raise your hand."  *raises hand*   "Oh."     
-----[color=#FF0000]Rodney McKay[/color]

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

The second one is great.

What do you call a smart blonde?: a golden retrever
What do you call a blonde with one brain cell?: gifted
What do you call a blonde with two brain cells?:pregnant.

take it easy baby take it as it comes

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Yes, the first one was in KOTOR, and it was Mandalorians. It was told to Dashowe when you first meet her on Korriban.

Reality doesn't care if you believe in it.
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Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

This is all based on a series of jokes sent to an English instutition, supposedly a couple of jokes that qualify as humorous between both genders. The thinnest bit of blanket for everybody. It's one of those everybody can hear it and find it entertaining in some way. And if I believe all that someone has a bridge to sell me.

I'll abdicate at the drop of a hat
(BFFC Moderator)

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

I've heard the first one before, the second one is what got me....it was great!!!   one to add to my collection...

                                                                           {MW}MS9

ā€œ(Iā€™m) Just a fly in the ointment, Hans. The monkey in the wrench. The pain in the a$$.ā€ -John McClane

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

I think the second one is more of a universal joke for guys, gals, and people of all ages, mostly because everyone knows Sherlock Holmes. And it makes me laugh because the one time Watson tries to be super smart.... Its the simplicity Sherlock wanted. XD

Half Dragon, half human, 100% Fett!

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Yea, I mean if you're from New Jeresy the joke won't be too universal, or a hunter I suppose

I'll abdicate at the drop of a hat
(BFFC Moderator)

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Hehe...Dave Barry wrote an article on that study. He was talking about the difference between men and women: women prefer the complexity and set-up of the joke and others like it. To a stereotypical Dave Barry man, it would be funnier if the punchline was:

"Watson, there's a weasel munching on my privates!"

Weasels are funny. Privates are funny. Dave Barry is funny. It's hilarity at its finest!

GPI: Fondly regard crustacean

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

I've got his Travel guide, he's hilarious.

I'll abdicate at the drop of a hat
(BFFC Moderator)

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

If those are the best I'd hate to see the worst...

Disciple Sift Through Lies; Few Grains Of Truth Be Known...

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Well, there's the chicken crossing the road, and what would you get if you crossed a ____ with a ____.
I think we've all heard some pretty bad ones.

I'll abdicate at the drop of a hat
(BFFC Moderator)

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Ok, best crossing road joke ever:

"Why'd the baby cross the road?"

"I don't know, why?"

"Because it was stapled to the chicken."

"I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!" - Belkar

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

"Want to hear a dirty blond joke? a blond fell into the mud."

"Want to hear clean blond joke? She got into a bath with bubbles"

Want to hear an really dirty blond joke? Bubbles was her neighbor!"

LOL

the things you hear at summer camp....


-Boba Dude

{MW}--[color=#FF0000]"Death and destruction to our enemies!"[/color]
"I wonder what the weather is like on Kamino right now?" Delta 62, Scorch.

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

I have heard the second one alot, but it is still funny.

{MW}--[color=#FF0000]"Death and destruction to our enemies!"[/color]
"I wonder what the weather is like on Kamino right now?" Delta 62, Scorch.

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Ok here's a British Joke.

An English guy, A french Guy and a really Sexy woman all get on a train.

And then the train goes under a tunnel and there's a kissing sound followed by a slap.


And they get off the train and the French guy thinks to himself.
"Le English Guy must 'ave tried to kiss le beautiful woman. And she thought it was me and slapped me...."

And the Woman thinks
"The French guy must have tried to kiss me and accidently kissed the English man. Who slapped him."

And the English guy thinks
"I made a kissing sound and slapped the French man"


If you don't get it then your not English enough...

Disciple Sift Through Lies; Few Grains Of Truth Be Known...

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Hm. 
What's pink, red, and spinning really fast? 
A baby in a blender!  Ahahahaha!

Ahem.    Here's a better one.
Three men are taking their final test to become Third Echelon agents.  They are brought outside an enclosed room with on door.  "Alright," The teacher says, "For your final test, you must show your willingness to obey every and any order given to you."  He hands the first guy a gun.  "Your wife is tied to a chair in that room.  You have to go in there and shoot her."  The first guy shakes his head and says, "No, you're insane, I'd never do that."  And walks away.  The teacher give the second guy the gun and the same instructions.  He gulps, and goes in.  After a few minutes of silence, he comes back out.  "I can't do it.  I just can't.  He says, and leaves.  "Well, it's just you, I guess,"  Says the teacher, and hands the last guy the gun.  He nods solemly and goes in.  The teacher hears some arguing, than lots of yelling, smashing, crashing, banging and thumping.  Finally the last man comes out, his nose bleeding, and his clothes torn.  "What the hell?"  He asks.  "The gun had blanks in it, so I had to smash her head open with the chair."

Classic.

If ya love me . . .And ya know me . . . And ya've seen me . . .
I'm Old Gregggggggg!

21 (edited by SciFifreak90 Tuesday, May 30, 2006 11:30 am)

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

If I didn't hate AIM acronyms, this would be a 'LMFAO' moment. I think I've heard something like that before, but I'd all but forgotten it until now. And the moral of the story is: Soldiers should just stay single.

"I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!" - Belkar

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Two peanuts were talking down the street. One was assaulted.

That's the only joke our school's biology teacher knows. We laugh hysterically everytime we hear it, and we're not sure why.

GPI: Fondly regard crustacean

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

Q: Where did the cat go after getting it's tail pulled off?
A: A retail store.

big_smile I know it's bad.

Reality doesn't care if you believe in it.
[url]http://www.townparkradio.com[/url] - Video Game Remix Music

Re: the "funniest joke in the world"

big_smile I love that joke, and thanks for the link. wink The joke is in the Humor > Jokes > One Liner. I think, anyway. Here's another (from my site) that I like:

How is duct tape like the Force?
It has a Light Side, a Dark Side, and it binds the galaxy together.

Reality doesn't care if you believe in it.
[url]http://www.townparkradio.com[/url] - Video Game Remix Music