Xanaan is laying on her side in the bed, sleeping. She never used to let herself sleep deeply anywhere at anytime... until she met Drakus. At first, she hadn't been very sure what to think of him...
She remembers the first day that he've found her. She just thought he was another one of them. Them, them all. All the same. Hostility, despise, anger, hatred, was all she was usually getting from everyone. But he acted differently towards her. Oh, he has his temper. Constantly barking orders, yelling at his men. Not an easy leader, but just, in his own way. Strangely enough, he never yells like that at her. The reason for that has been unclear to her for a while, as she never felt she did any better than the others. He was acting... protective around her. Raising his voice at any who'd say the slightest comment about her. At some point though, he started to show more than simple care. He seemed to want to know more about her, and her past. He wanted to know why she had those terrible dreams at night, and those tears from time to time. That was something he felt he couldn't protect her from, and he wasn't satisfied about it.
Over time, a strange feeling of... security came to grow inside her about him. That immense feeling of trust she has towards him, it's something she seems like she's never felt. Or at least, something she really hasn't been feeling for a long time...
There used to be someone. Someone who cared. A voice, so kind and gentle, so soothing. Like Drakus', maybe... but deeper. And rougher too. The roughness that time gives to a voice. It was an older man. Her dad? She had to go. She had to leave... fast. No time. There was no time. Why?... Something terrible happened. A dancing shadow. Tall, dark, big enough to eat her away. Shadows all around her, swallowing her. Air is becoming rare. A dark cloud envelops her completely. She can't see, she can't hear anymore. She just drowns into herself. She wants to get away, she wants to scream, but she can't. No more air. She'll die. No. Nooooooo.
It's dark. There's light filtering in the room. She's sitting straight in the bed, her heart pounding fast and hard. Did she scream again in her sleep? Drakus is there, holding her tight against his bare chest. So firm and powerful. His skin is rough, a lot of scars. His hand is gently caressing her long black hair flowing around her shoulders like everynight, as she undoes her braids at the end of each day before going to sleep. Xanaan feels her own sweat running down her face, down her whole body, running all over him now. A kiss, soft, tender, loving, then another, and then she knows he'll ask it again. He'll want to know again.
He didn't ask, but there was that stare in his eyes. He knew it was in vain, but his heart was pushing him to try again. But it was in vain again. Making sure she was ok, he raised from the bed and left the room without a word. She felt like a slight deception in his attitude, but there was nothing more she could do. It's already gone. The dream, the pain, the darkness. Nothing she remembers. He thinks she says that because she doesn't want to tell, and it's true, she doesn't. Some things are just too painful to be told. Even to a loved one. And even if she'd want to talk about it, she couldn't. She really doesn't remember. There's that shadow that will never leave her eyes, there's that feeling that melts her guts and makes her feel a glimpse of despair at the loneliest moments, but nothing to be put in words.
He had left a bucket of warm water by their room's door, like everyday, so she didn't have to leave the room to bathe herself. She appreciated these little things he did for her, that, the food, the water, everyday like that. So much care. He was doing all these little things for her so regularly, he didn't even notice doing them anymore. That was leaving her with a warm feeling, even after all that time he's been doing that, she was thankful everytime. One day she'll have to tell him.
Getting ready for the day, she thought she'd like to have a conversation with the Elder sometime later. After a quick bite at the cheese Drakus left for her, she takes off for a walk.
Cast iron and treadmills? Oh yes. Still sculpting me to what I really want to be, and I love it. :)